Type Nine with Faith Raider

Faith Raider lives in Augusta, Georgia with her husband and six kiddos. She is a reader, a writer, a creative coach and (occasionally) a photographer. You can connect with her most days on Instagram and you might bump into her once in awhile on Facebook. She just wrote a book (which is due to be released in January) called “Confessions of a Roadkill Christian” because sometimes life can knock you down, and you find yourself walking around feeling like you’ve got tire tracks tattooed on your forehead, wondering if you will ever get close to God again. Find out more on her website www.faithraider.com.

How long have you known about the Enneagram?

I am pretty new to all of this! I read The Road Back to You over the summer and have been researching obsessively ever since.

How long have you known your type?

I knew my type as soon as I read my profile in the book! I connected with the type description immediately: seeing things from everyone else’s perspective, struggling to assert myself, and very averse to conflict. This is so me. I was uncertain for a little while–maybe I was really a Four? Could I possibly be a One or a Six? Nope. I’m a Nine.

What do you wish people knew about being your type?

One thing that I think is important to understand about type Nine is that we are super accommodating–like if you ask a Nine what we want, we are most likely to turn it around and ask what you want, but we do not like to have people demand things of us. Whenever I find myself in this type of a situation, when I feel like someone is being demanding or being a dictator, then my Eight wing kicks in and I will stubbornly resist. So consider yourself warned. 😉

I have low energy both physically and emotionally and get “stuck” and stall out sometimes. I am empathetic and absorb the emotions of the people around me–your stress stresses me out! I have the perfectionist type One wing and I expect myself to be perfect (especially emotionally) and have had to learn to really deal with the shame of being imperfect.

I am super-sensitive to criticism. I wish I wasn’t, but I am and sometimes I over-react. So if you have to criticize me, please handle my tender heart with care. And if I don’t take it well, please remind me that you love me, and give me the opportunity to apologize.

I HATE being in conflict, so if I am bringing something up: please listen to me. It took a lot of courage to initiate this conversation. I only do this with people that I DEEPLY love.

What do you like about being your type?

I love that I am a peacemaker and that I am empathetic. I love that I try to see things from other people’s perspective and seek to bring harmony. I love being an intuitive person. I have begun offering creative coaching recently and this has helped me so much with my clients. I love that when I choose to be stubborn about the things that are really important to me, I can be immovable, even in the face of criticism.

What challenge(s) does being your type bring?

Being so conflict-averse means that I will let things go and let things go and let things go until I blow up. Or, I will allow myself to be taken advantage of simply because I wasn’t willing to initiate the conflict and set the boundaries. I have had to really work on setting boundaries. It does not come naturally for me at all.

When I am moving along my line of dis-integration, I take on the negative qualities of the Six and am prone to anxiety and intense fearfulness. For me personally, this has manifested in seasons of social anxiety and anorexia. I want someone to nurture me and take care of me but I am learning, at least in this season of my life, that nurturing person has to be me, and I need to make sure that I am taking care of myself the same way that I would take care of someone that I love.

This is part of a 31-day series: The Enneagram. To read all posts, head here.